I just watched Amotherworld’s Vlog, and I had to do this video because I felt the same way…
BlogHer 10 is Aug 6-7 in NYC.
So, I wrote about the Girls 20 Summit in Toronto- since the event, my fellow participants(Erica Ehm, Kim MacGregor, and Lucy Izon) have also posted their take on the topic; particularly,
Michelle from EverythingMom.com had an interesting question and she tweeted this-
“Do you ride a self-esteem rollercoaster?” To which I replied to with this:
Seriously, who doesn’t ride the self-esteem rollercoaster once in a while?
Michelle has started a Mom Esteem group in her website. It’s a private group but everybody is invited to join. I’m now a member too. Check it out if you are interested.
Since then, I have been thinking about Self-Esteem. And this is what I think. And I made this video…
This week I had a few interesting conversations on and off-line. One of them was about relationships.
It’s very difficult to write about it without giving away too much personal details, but my question was this; In a relationship, how much are you making it up to be what you want it to be?
Say you met somebody at a very interesting situation. Maybe you were overseas, maybe you met him/her completely by chance. Like you were on a train you otherwise would have never taken. Whatever. You know what I mean.
It’s so romantic, and you fall in love, maybe you might even marry this person.
But the inevitable happens.
We all know relationships require work. A LOT of it. You stick it out, try everything, but that’s not working.
You think to yourself- Well, we’re meant to be together. Otherwise, why did we meet in such a crazy way?
This is very similar mind set to what Carrie said in Sex and the City movie.
For those who have NO interest in the show, I apologize- but in the movie, the women go to Abu Dhabi, and there, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) runs into her old boyfriend Aidan (John Corbett). Sure, you run into exes everywhere, but of all the places, in Abu Dhabi?!
She is married, but she decides to go for a dinner with him. Her friends are concerned that she might be “Playing with fire”, but Carrie says
“It must mean something”.
-End of SATC reference- You can relax now.
Anyway, so I am wondering when are these mindset right, and when are they completely delusional?
I’ll be honest; I’ve been there before. You fall in love with somebody, and you think that person is the love of your life, and few years later-what was I thinking!?
In a way that is a happy state to be in, because you are not hurt or depressed. You are over the person.
So, when things go sour, how long to stick it out? You’ve tried everything to save the relationship, when do you call it quits?
You feel like giving up….but we’ve met in such a romantic way-it must mean we’re meant to be together.
Or are you just being stupid to put up with it?
How do we know?
Couple of weeks ago I was in Toronto to attend a very special event -G 20- and no, not Group of 20, but GIRLS 20 Summit…20 girls aged 18-20 from each G20 countries gathered in Toronto to start a global conversation about the economic prowess of girls and women and commitment to creating a space where girls voices can be heard globally.
As a part of this summit, I had a privilege to attend a group discussion with Jess Weiner, the Self-Esteem expert about Mentoring young women in your life.
Do you know any young women in your life? Maybe you have a daughter or a sister? What is mentoring? What are we supposed to do?
Jess’s talk was amazing, I could have posted the whole talk here, but here’s the snippet of what I really loved.
It was great to see Erica Ehm again, she was sitting beside me in this video, and on my other side was another amazing woman I met that day-Kim MacGregor who started this amazing website www.IBelieveShesAmazing.com . She brought her 11 year old daughter, who was such a sweetheart.
After Jess’s talk, G(irls)20 Summit’s delegates came in and told us what their advice would be for a 13-year-old, as we believe 13 is the pretty important age when we think about woman’s self-esteem.
These young women were so mature beyond their age and I was so inspired by them. Here’s one advice from Julie from USA, which I particularly enjoyed.
“Challenges will shape you into the person you will be in the future” What a great reminder.
Everybody I met that day inspired me so much and got me thinking about Self-Esteem…I know of a beautiful, absolutely gorgeous woman-she is in her late 30′s- but she has extremely low Self-Esteem. She is very thin already, but she is constantly worried about what other people(by people, I mean men) would think of her. Every time I think about her and her lack of Self-Esteem, it breaks my heart, because that is NOT something I can just give her. She has to gain the confidence herself and she has to start loving herself.
What can we do to stop seeing women like her?
I believe in talking to young women and mentoring them. Talk to them and listen to them. Teach them to love themselves just the way they are.
I encourage you to join the Dove Movement and share your advice on building positive self-esteem.
What would you tell your 13-year-old self?