I had a lunch with a friend the other day. She was having problems with her husband. I only know her side of story, but he was just being plain mean to her- like he demands she lose weight, or telling her he doesn’t have a lot of respect for her anymore. If any of you are like me, you’d be like, “WTH?!”, right? What sort of woman would tolerate that kind of treatment?! She was almost in tears, and was wondering if they should file for separation.
I suggested she talk to her husband that he is being insensitive to her feelings, and ask him to treat her fairly. She shook her head. She said he didn’t respect her, because she was not working as hard as he was. So I said, if she was going to get separated, that is her choice, but she should be prepared to make her own living. She shook her head. She said she is afraid to be alone.
Then she looked at me, and said, “I don’t know how you do it. You have kids and a business. I can never do what you are doing.”
..These kinds of comments frustrate me to no end.
Long time ago, I have made a mental note to myself. “People will do what they want to do, no matter what advices they ask for.”
I have another friend who is always busy. She always complains to me her work consumes her life and she has no time for fun thing, like vacations or relationships. I tell her she should learn to slow down and say no, that life is too short not to have fun.
Does she listen to me? No. But she keeps complaining to me and bailing on our plans. Is that fair?
This again confirms my mental note above.
Nobody is listening to anybody.
If you really want change, you need to be willing to make the change yourself. Otherwise, you have no right to complain.