Since I posted my New Year’s resolution, I’m pretty happy to report I am doing well.
I’m on my 4th book of this year, (my resolution was to read at least read 2 a month), so this is a good start.
The 4-hour Work Week by Tim Ferris
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau (I went to see him in Vancouver. Will write about this soon)
And The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
I am learning a lot through these books, conversation with friends, and from my coach.
I have a lot on my mind and wasn’t sure if I could contain exactly what I wanted to say, so I decided to do a vlog today.
I was pleasantly surprised to get many great comments on my last post. I found it interesting few people commented on fear.
If you are not willing to make the change, a lot of times it is because you are afraid.
As discussed in the Brene Brown’s video I posted on my Resolution post, I am trying to embrace my fear and vulnerability…and I’ve decided to write about them.
What are you afraid of?
OK, I’ll start.
As some of you know, I do an online show called Getting Engaged with my friend Russel. We usually get positive feedback, but one we get consistently is that I need to speak up. I tend to mumble, and do you know when I do..?
When I am not sure if I am speaking in correct English.
English is my second language, and usually I’m pretty confident I can articulate what I need to say. But when I’m in front of the camera(even if it’s the tiny Flip camera)-I feel nervous and I am afraid of making mistakes.
There, I said it. I am afraid of making mistakes.
I am also afraid of not having time to myself, my freedom. That’s probably a common one for any parent.
I am afraid to get hurt – emotionally. This is also a common one too.
But I am not going to hide them anymore. I will embrace them, and live my life wholeheartedly.
I had a lunch with a friend the other day. She was having problems with her husband. I only know her side of story, but he was just being plain mean to her- like he demands she lose weight, or telling her he doesn’t have a lot of respect for her anymore. If any of you are like me, you’d be like, “WTH?!”, right? What sort of woman would tolerate that kind of treatment?! She was almost in tears, and was wondering if they should file for separation.
I suggested she talk to her husband that he is being insensitive to her feelings, and ask him to treat her fairly. She shook her head. She said he didn’t respect her, because she was not working as hard as he was. So I said, if she was going to get separated, that is her choice, but she should be prepared to make her own living. She shook her head. She said she is afraid to be alone.
Then she looked at me, and said, “I don’t know how you do it. You have kids and a business. I can never do what you are doing.”
..These kinds of comments frustrate me to no end.
Long time ago, I have made a mental note to myself. “People will do what they want to do, no matter what advices they ask for.”
I have another friend who is always busy. She always complains to me her work consumes her life and she has no time for fun thing, like vacations or relationships. I tell her she should learn to slow down and say no, that life is too short not to have fun.
Does she listen to me? No. But she keeps complaining to me and bailing on our plans. Is that fair?
This again confirms my mental note above.
Nobody is listening to anybody.
If you really want change, you need to be willing to make the change yourself. Otherwise, you have no right to complain.
It’s not as official as “resolution” but I do hope to see more movies this year.
I just got home from watching my first movie of 2011- The King’s Speech, and loved it. Colin Firth. I have forgotten how adorable he is.
Great story, very touching, I don’t want to write any spoiler but only thing I kept thinking was “Man, I can’t look at Helena Bohnam Carter without thinking of Bellatrix Lestange from Harry Potter!” There were also Michael Gambon(Professor Dumbledore) as King George V, Timothy Spall (Peter Pettigrew) as Winston Churchill….it was Harry Potter actors fest!
Great film. Highly recommended.