I just finished the Living Brave Semester with Brené Brown that started back in January.
This past 5 months, thousands of people around the world and myself learned together on what it means to live wholeheartedly. This was by far the best course I have ever taken.
We had new lessons open every Monday with lesson videos and exercises. Every few weeks we had breaks, (so that those of us behind can catch up), Live Q&A sessions (where my question got picked!), as well as weekly message videos from Brené.
It is impossible for me to go over everything I learned in the course, but I wanted to list a few things that made big impact on me.
1) Community and language
Watching Brené’s videos every week and doing the live Q&A really gave me the sense of community. One of the students called us “Living Bravesters” and it just stuck, and we all started calling ourselves that. Love it.
Another community was a Facebook group I created for us Japanese people who are interested in learning more about wholehearted living. I love that we started using the language from Brené’s books. One of the group member mentioned her son was talking an entrance exam for college and I called it his “arena”. Other friend was doing new things in her business and that put her in front of a large group of people – that was her arena. I really love that we started using the word “arena” as a place we are going to be brave, as per Theodore Roosevelt’s famous speech, The Man in the Arena (The title Daring Greatly comes from this speech)
One of the most memorable lessons in the course was one of the earliest one. Brené used the metaphor of lantern and called it “How values light the way”. Imagine a lantern. The flame in the lantern is your core values you hold. (We did exercises to find what our core values are – mine are Courage and Kindness) Your values will light your way. Without the lantern and the flame inside it, it will be dark and you will be lost. Or, even when you have the lantern and the flame, sometimes we leave it somewhere and stray from our values. This was such a visual example and made a lot of sense to me. When I catch myself acting outside my values – like being snappy at someone or being afraid – I picture the lantern and go back to my values.
3) People Are Doing The Best They Can
This is THE biggest learning for me from her book Rising Strong. In case you haven’t read the book, let me ask you a question.
“In general, do yo think people are doing the best they can?”
How did you answer the question?
My answer was NO. I just turned 41, and most of my life, I thought people were slackers, and I was super judgey.
This comes from perfectionism. To get the proper context I highly recommend you read the book, but we learned that when we believe people are doing the best we can, our lives are better and I feel kinder towards others, which is important to me as one of my core values is kindness. Our best is all different.
This was such a huge learning moment for me, every time I think about it, I get shivers and get a little chocked up. What have I been doing? Every time I think of the chapter in the book, it makes me want to cover my face and sob…
4) It’s all practice
We learned all these great things to help us live more wholehearted life, but we are all human. We slip.
When we’re tired, when we are afraid, when we feel threatened….we act out way outside our values.
I’ve learned to be kind to myself, and to remind myself this is a lifelong practice. I remember in on of the weekly update videos Brené said, if we catch ourselves slipping….to celebrate it. Because it at least means we know we are slipping. The important thing it to catch us when we slip, and try again without berating ourselves.
I feel bittersweet to have finished this amazing course. There is another Living Brave Semester next year, but meanwhile there are two shorter, exciting courses coming up.
We are supposed to talk to ourselves like we talk to someone we love. But why is it so hard?
“The Self-Compassion workshop combines the skills of mindfulness and self-compassion to enhance our capacity for emotional wellbeing.”
This is a four-lesson online workshop that opens on May 16, 2016.
“What would it mean for our families, our community, and even the world if a critical mass of parents raised children who knew their worth? Children who navigate the world believing, “Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” It doesn’t matter if your child is 4 years old, 14, or 44 – parenting is a lifetime commitment. “
Six-lesson course that begins September 26, 2016. The format sounds very much like Living Brave Semester with new lessons opening every week but mostly self-paced.
For both of these courses, I have a 30% off code so please let me know if you are signing up!
Thank you Brené, and thank you all Living Bravesters – it’s been a blast. See you in the next course 🙂