Who’s going to do this for you?

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Yukari

One of the awesome people I met, Jacquline Carly

Already, I’ve been back from LA for well over a week. I attended BlogWorld and New Media Expo LA (BWELA) 2011 from Nov 3-5.

I had attended Blog World last year in Las Vegas, and although I made many new friends, I personally felt like I’ve “been there, done that.” It was fun, but not necessary to attend again, especially when I am not exactly in “the industry”.

However, my perception slowly changed over the last few months. I believe it’s thanks to Google Plus that I started to feel like I’m part of the industry, part of a community. (Interestingly enough, that is the topic Russel and I talked about in our last Getting Engaged episode, but seriously, I didn’t link them together until I started writing this post.)

I made many new virtual friends on G+. And many people I like and look up to were supposed to be at BWELA, I started to really wanting to attend the conference. Coincidentally, I had an event to attend in LA few days after BWELA, so I had to be in LA anyway. But being a single mom, it’s not easy coming up with the means. After looking into several options, I had quietly given up.

Couple of weeks have passed, and I was surprised to catch myself still being upset about not going. I had even entered contests to win a pass for BWELA. I didn’t win. I was like a little kid pouting.

One afternoon, I was reading in the bath. It was a nice sunny day, and for me, having a relaxing bath in the middle of the day is one of my favourite things to do. (I love it, it’s my thing, let it go.) I was reading Jonathan Field’s Uncertainty(Affiliate link).
And suddenly something hit me. “Why CAN’T I go? What is stopping me?”

Nobody had told me I couldn’t go. The person who said no to me was myself. I was blaming everything but myself for not being able to go.

I got out of the bath, and after a few emails and phone calls later, I was pretty much set up to go by the evening.

Yes, I had no guarantee I’d come back with something tangible like a new prospect or contract. Yes, it was financially risky for me to make a 8-day trip. All I knew was that I really wanted to go. Others might laugh at my desire to attend a mere conference, but it was obiously a big deal for me.

So I went. And what happened?

I got to see many of my favourite people. People who inspire me. To be inspired – is probably the most important thing for me. I’m always looking for an inspiration. (Especially, meeting this guy was the highlight of my trip.) I’ve learned a lot from all the sessions I’ve attended. And I made a whole a lot of new friends. It was absolutely amazing.

On a personal note, I also found somebody very special. But you need to buy me a drink to hear that story.

Lesson I learned from this entire experience is, that you need to make things happen for yourself. That nobody is going to do it for you.

I’ve decided to lean into uncertainty and let the world take me wherever it leads…and I am so glad I did.

Some days..

Posted on August 27, 2011 by Yukari

Have you ever done Myers-Briggs Personality Test?
According to the test, I am a type ENFJ, meaning I tend to have following qualities – (E)Extrovert, (N)Intuition (F)Feeling (J) Judging.

But as my friend Jamie once told me, I’m an Introverted Extrovert. I like to go out and meet people and be social, but at the same time, some days I hate people.

Past few weeks I have been feeling introverted. I was frustrated and disappointed with few of my friends, acquaintances, and colleagues.
I was watching the film Norwegian Wood, (Hoping to do a blog post on this book as it’s one of the most important books in my life), and there is a scene where Midori asks Toru, the protagonist;

Midori: You enjoy solitude? Travelling alone, eating alone, sitting by yourself in lecture halls…
Toru: Nobody likes being alone that much. I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.

.. I couldn’t agree more.

Some days, I get tired of meeting other people’s needs (great post by Chris Brogan on this topic here).
Some days, I feel like nobody cares about my needs.
Nobody cares about your success and happiness. All they care about is their own.
That’s why, you need to be strong, you need to believe in yourself and work hard to make yourself happy.

But then again, some days I feel so fortunate to have many great friends and opportunities.
Last night and this morning were couple of those days.
I’m grateful for these days. They are like a little treasure, like a beautiful sea glass in sand.

My thoughts on Foursquare

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Yukari

If you are not aware of Foursquare, it’s a social networking website where you can “check in” at various locations(shops, restaurants, banks, and any other businesses)using your mobile devices. It’s been around since 2009, and according to Wikipedia, it has 10 million users worldwide.

Despide all the concerns for danger (“Why would you want to tell people where you are? They can stalk you!” “People will know you are NOT at home- they can rob you”), I continue to use it as a fun game. It’s fun because the person who frequents the venue the most will be crowned as a “mayor”. I currently hold 15 mayorships at various restaurants, bars and shops, and aiming to “oust” and become a new mayor at other vanues as well. I just find it fun to play this game and interact with my friends using this app. Yes, you can stalk someone if you want to, but I don’t have time for it, and I do not check in at Every. Single. Place. I go and broadcast it on Twitter and Facebook to bore my friends. I have control over what information I choose to share, and it all comes down to your common sense.

Recently, I had really interesting conversations with my friends. I don’t want to reveal who they are, so I will call the first friend Mike. He was telling me how “influencial” I had become – and to call myself that really makes me break into cold sweats – because I am not that kind of person…it’s kind of funny because Victoria is small, and in the Social Media bubble, it gets even smaller. Mike said, “When you check into certain places, people pay attention”. I was like “Really? No they don’t.” But he is right – I do get comments through Foursquare app on my Blackberry, or on Twitter. I found this quite interesting. So I could (even though I would never do this) tweet, “I’m not going to Jonny’s anymore because their food is terrible!” and some people might actually believe that. Then again, I assume these sort of manipulation happen daily at review sites like Yelp.

As a personal rule, I try not to tweet anything negative about a venue, unless they really deserve it. If something didn’t taste as good as I’d hoped for, I don’t feel the need to share it, because I believe that is a matter of personal taste.

Foursquare plays interesting role in the consumers’ behaviour. Even though I am not particularly crazy about a venue, I can check in there, just to become a mayor. And if all these people decide to tweet their checkins? Great promo for the business. In other words, businesses don’t have to be particularly great at what they do (customer service, food or drink), all they need to do, is to create the buzz/provide incentive to become a mayor. This worries me a little.

Mike told me he had stopped checking in at one restaurant, because although he loved the food there, he did not like the way restaurant markets itself on Social Media. So he does not want to give any props to this restaurant any more. This was new to me. However, I think I can understand what he means. For me, I don’t like to warn a venue before I head over there. I don’t want to let them know that I’m stopping by. It’s partly privacy thing, and partly because I don’t want the businesses to be “too prepared” for me. Does that make sense? Also who do I think I am? Am I so important the venue better be prepared?

My other friend, whom I will call James, told me that his Social Media savvy regulars stopped tweeting about his restaurant because that would attract too many people. As a business, this is exactly opposite of what you want. He said that Social Media/Foursquare/Twitter is a double edged sword, and I think he is absolutely right. As a mass, consumers now literally have the power to control the reputation of a business on their fingertips. You can manipulate the reputation of a business you do not like, or become their evangelist. Sounds very Spider-Man to me…”With great power….”

Is this a good thing? What do you think?

What I Wish More People Knew About Me

Posted on July 6, 2011 by Yukari

I just read Amber‘s latest blog post and had to write it myself. If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend you go read it here first.

I met Amber last month at Social Media Camp. I’ve written about my experience at SMCV11 here, but there was definitely something about her that I really liked. When I read her post today I got kind of teary. Something about the post struck a chord with me. Maybe that is why I really like her.I can honestly say I had a really great time with her at SMCV11. I do hope to see her again soon.

So here is my “What I Wish More People Knew About Me” list.

Like Amber, I fear that people might think I’m just so self absorbed to write a post like this. But as I was trying to create the list, I realized, for me, this is more like a confession than just a list of things I wish people knew about me.

You see, I have written many times here about my journey to live wholehearted life and to embrace vulnerability. I am completely “nobody” -I am not a social media rock star or published author or anything. (With due respect to all those people). I am just this Japanese girl who spend way too much time on social media. So why do I have to have a list like this? Because I want to be honest about who I am.

Some are totally random, and some you might already know. But here goes;

-Friendships are one of the most important things in my life.

This is probably not a surprise to many of you, but I am a very emotional person. I make decisions based on my gut feeling. When I make friends, I don’t do that just because the person is nice, but rather because I’m attracted to the person. I do have great friends and every day I am grateful for them, and quite often I cry, thinking about them. No joke.

-I feel that I am never smart enough.

There are so many things I do not understand in this world and I do feel insecure that I’m not smart enough. Not smart enough to be a business owner. Luckily, I am a very optimistic(you might call it something else) person, so usually this does not limit me. But yes, I feel this way all the time.

-Ethics and fairness are important to me.

I cannot stand unfairness. I hate cheating. I’m only human, and sometimes I hate something/somebody so much. But when I attack, I always attack fairly. If you have something to say, say it to my face. I don’t like confrontations, but I loathe backstabbing even more.

I believe in good in people and I am attracted to good people, rather than cool or smart people.

-I love miniature houses and such.

When I grow old, I am SO collecting those miniature Christmas village. When I turn 65, I’ll start accepting them as birthday gifts.

-I am a big fan of Haruki Murakami.

I read all of his books. I read Norwegian Wood when I was 13 and I still re-read them. Such beautiful, and sad story. I am very very excited to see the movie. My first born son’s Japanese name is Haruki. This was back in 1997 and Internet wasn’t that crazy yet, so I got to email him directly and told him that I named my son after him. I did receive a reply, and he said “Congratulations, your son will be a very healthy, and forgetful boy”.

-I’m kind of a loner.

I don’t mind being alone. Recently I took the Myers-Briggs test and I am ENFJ- meaning I am an extrovert. But my friend Jamie called me “Introverted Extrovert”, which is so true! I love going out on the town and have fabulous time, but at the same time I’m happy sitting at home alone in front of the computer, or read.

-I love Sex and the City.

Duh. My TV taste is very boring….no Glee or True Blood or Game of Thrones…I’m perfectly happy watching SATC reruns. I know it’s a chick show, but their writing is SO good, and so much truths in the show….on life, relationships, friendship and more.

-I can be kind of a snob.

I just talked about this on the latest Getting Engaged episode, but I hate making small talks with people. When I’m out and about, I have to admit, I am a bit of a snob. I don’t talk to cab drivers, cashiers and servers. It’s not that I look down on them. Far from it. I am always polite, but I just rather be left alone sometimes. I find, maybe because I’m a bit different (meaning Japanese living in Canada? I really don’t know) people seem to ask me a lot of questions and sometimes I get tired of it.

This sort of leads into the next one…

-I LOVE words.

I love reading, and although I don’t think I’m particularly good at it, I enjoy writing. I love getting any form of messages in writing- letters, emails, text messages. I love good quotes(I’m guilty of those quote tweets) and write many down to memorize. Words are so important to me, and I love words of affirmation. (That is my love language if you know the book)

This is all I could think of for now. I’d love to see your list too. Please comment or email me.